Sometimes in the past, I would shut down when things became too visual for me. I would draw myself in like a turtle retreating into its shell. And sometimes, I would become bitter about the fact that things were so visual. Why is everything so visual? I have no idea what is going on? Fine, I'll just retreat. I never liked that I did this but did it none the less. I would do this in a loud environment, if people were dancing or moving around and I couldn't hear them, when others showed each other slides or photos, when a tv program or movie was so highly visual, I couldn't figure out what was going on. Instead of asking someone to explain, I might get resentful of the visual world and just withdraw. Gradually though, I have begun more and more to ask questions. To try to understand. The world is what it is after all. I started trying to learn photography a few weeks ago with my photographer friend Joan. Stay tuned. We do have exciting things coming up together in this venture. I thought I would be puzzled by it and maybe not like it. I am surprised that I love it and it actually makes me feel more and not less in control. Sometimes, I can only take small doses of information about visual things. But I do take them in. I tell myself not to pull back but to move forward and absorb what things I can from the visual, and leave the rest. I actually love the photographic challenge and deciding what I want to photograph.
Life is full of surprises.
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